Riots have broken out all over the world. Israel is freaking out over an oil shortage, the Brits must have run out of tea or something because they are burning everything in sight, and Philly is experiencing flash mobs – I know what you’re thinking and no….no girls are running around showing their boobies to people. The flash mobs in Philly (and tons more across the US) are organized mainly through text and facebook. The mobs at this point are exclusively black kids running around looting and beating up white people – ahh the city of brotherly love. The newspapers are saying that at this point it is not known why these flash mobs have become racially divided and why they have become violent. Everyone else is saying “because of their stupid parents!”
Mayor Michael A. Nutter, telling marauding black youths “you have damaged your own race,” imposed a tougher curfew Monday in response to the latest “flash mob” — spontaneous groups of teens who attack people at random on the streets of the city’s tourist and fashionable shopping districts.
“Take those God-darn hoodies down, especially in the summer,” Mr. Nutter, the city’s third black mayor, said in an angry lecture aimed at black teens. “Pull your pants up and buy a belt ‘cause no one wants to see your underwear or the crack of your butt.”
“If you walk into somebody’s office with your hair uncombed and a pick in the back, and your shoes untied, and your pants half down, tattoos up and down your arms and on your neck, and you wonder why somebody won’t hire you? They don’t hire you ‘cause you look like you’re crazy,” the mayor said. “You have damaged your own race.”
Notice how he said God-darn haha.
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